Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. So isn’t it quite obvious that men find women’s and women find men’s interests and tastes strange? And actually, it is this difference that makes them attracted towards each other. Over the time there have been many funny wife quotes that have come up. Here are few of such best quotes that would give you a hearty laugh. Do enjoy and share with your friends, but beware not with your wives. And if you do we are not responsible for what happens next 🙂

Funny Wife Quotes

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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates

funny wife quotes - 2

For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything.

funny wife quotes - 3

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman

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One day my wife’s credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!

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What’s the difference between a fiancée and a wife? Approximately 15 kilos.

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Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!

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A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed.

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If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. Sigmund Freud

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I always hold my wife’s hand. If I let go, my wife shops.

funny wife quotes - 10

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

funny wife quotes - 11

When a wife says: What? It’s not because she didn’t hear you. She is giving a chance for you to change what you said.


Hope you enjoyed reading through our collection of funny wife quotes. Do let us know your feedback and share any other such quotes that you found funny.